Spread Your Wings

ANXIETY.

One small word. One big problem.

Before this year, I never knew what chronic anxiety felt like. Every now and then I would fret over something, but it wasn't a force that held me down.

However, things changed.

They got harder.

When life gets harder, we often get tunnel vision. It's more difficult to see around our problems, to see our way out of them, to see Christ among them.

And that's what happened to me.

I lost control of my health.
I lost control of my work situation.
I lost control of my emotions.

I felt like I was losing myself.

My anxiety ruled my life.  I felt as if I was at the top of mountain, fast losing oxygen and no way down but to jump.

So I jumped.

Head first with all the tenacity I had left, I jumped.

I jumped into my faith.
I jumped into my quiet time.
I jumped into my relationship with Christ.

When the world spins faster and faster, when we don't know which way to go, when we can't see the way out and there doesn't seem to be light at the end of the tunnel, let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).

Christ is worth jumping for. He is worth jumping to.

Because of his great love for us, we are NOT consumed, for his compassions never fails (Lamentations 3:22). We do not have to fear. We will not fall. We can be strong. We can look up. We don't have to cower or relent.

God is with us. He is for us. He is ever-present and almighty. A light in the darkness, a guide in the rough.

When I felt as if the person I was, the person I was meant to be, did not match the person I had become, I still had Christ.

And in Christ, I became whole. Again.

Through all the battles we fight in this life, we CANNOT be defeated if we remember that we have already won the war. We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (Romans 8:37).

My anxiety seemed out of my control, and often it was. My health and work situations seemed out of control, and often they were. My emotions seemed out of control, and they really were. My soul felt weary with sorrow, so I prayed and asked God to strengthen me according to his word (Psalm 119:28). 

Sometimes in times of great anxiety, I couldn't even manage real words. I didn't have the energy to pray. I simply didn't have the hope.

But there was something in me that did.

As a child of Christ, his spirit is within me, and he intervenes for me just as he does for you if you are in Christ. The spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans (Romans 8:26).

The crushing worry and fear, the doubt, the relentless waters of life that seemed to be drowning me were conquered not by anything that I did or ever could do, but because of the hope that I have through Christ.

Not overnight. Not in a week. Not in a month. But in His time. In His way.

He healed me. He loved me. He held me.

I am not in control. But I know the one who is, and that makes all the difference. Won't you let him heal what you have to bring to him? He did it for me. He will do it for you, too. Don't be afraid to jump, friend. Whatever it is - no matter how big or how small - God cares and He wants to help, but you have to give up the reigns and go along for the ride. Are you willing to do it?

If you are... just JUMP.