How I Became an Unlikely Bible Study Leader

One of the worship leaders at my church, Bridgette Hammers, continuously amazes me with her explanations of the Biblical meaning behind some of the songs I absolutely adore. In the midst of her prayers, it often occurs to me that If I would do just a little more critical thinking in between my screeching song renditions, I’m certain I would’ve come to these conclusions myself. But thank goodness God puts wise people in our paths so we can receive the messages we were meant to hear.

Last Tuesday evening, Bridgette sang one of my favorite songs, Bethel Music’s “No Longer Slaves," and afterward described a terrifying image of the Israelites just before they walked through the Red Sea to escape the Egyptians.

If you haven’t heard the song, click HERE to give it a listen, or read the bridge of the song below:

You split the sea, so I could walk right through it

All my fears were drowned in perfect love

You rescued me, so I could stand and sing

I am a child of God

You see, while God split the seas for the Israelites, the fear that must've persisted in that moment is palpable. An entire ocean’s worth of water was piled up on either side of them, still thrashing and rumbling – deafening, most likely, and even though God provided them with a path – their very own miracle – they still had to choose to walk out in faith and take it.

The Israelites knew the Egyptians were right behind them, and they knew God wanted to deliver them, but they didn’t know what they were being delivered to. The uncertainty must’ve been incredible. And not necessarily in a good way.

They had seen God bring about so many miracles on their behalf just to get them out of harm’s way, but in that moment, that terrifying moment, they had to take an extra leap of faith and choose to walk with in faith with Him. They had to choose to cross the path laid before them or all of the previous miracles would be for naught.

Often times, God gives us a vision for our future, a step to take, a path to walk, or a call to answer, but we become so preoccupied by what might happen if we say 'yes' that we stay where we are out of fear. We say we will "pray” about it, but our praying often turns into complacency. We pray to delay.

I know this kind of fear-inducing call to action. 

I know about the feelings of uncertainty and doubt. 

I know about praying to delay. 

Because that was me. Still is, a lot of the time. But that was me, specifically, when God called me to become an unlikely Bible study leader.

I’ve often heard it said that God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. In fact, the Bible exemplifies this through the lives of so many of its major players: David, Gideon, Jonah, Paul… the list could go on and on, but when I became the person He was calling, all bets were off. Suddenly the Bible stories I read and believed in so deeply felt flat. Two-dimensional. The Lord couldn’t be calling me, could he?

He was, in fact, calling me. Right into a position of leadership in my church. Anne, our women’s ministry director had approached me – out of nowhere, it seemed – and asked me to pray about becoming more involved with the women’s ministry.

“Sure!” I replied right away. “What do you want me to do?” I asked, with no thought AT ALL to the task which she had just proposed.

“No,” she said. “I want you to pray about it. Then let me know what God directs you to do.”

What did that even mean? I had never experienced someone's insistence that I pray before acting. It made me anxious.

Phillippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” but that verse was still years away from my understanding, and besides that, I wasn't even sure I knew how to pray. 

Even so, the Spirit intervened in that moment, and as I walked to my car that evening, I felt Him whisper what she meant: I needed to pray about leading my own small group.

I was in shock. Aghast.

How could God make such a mistake? Doesn’t he know me? Wasn’t he supposed to know everything?

Me, an unchurched hypocrite the majority of my life. A sinner to worst degree, only a few years out from a life filled with a number of worldly indulgences and wrong paths. A girl who hadn’t even partially read the Bible, who couldn’t quote Scripture to save her life. Me, someone who didn’t really even know what it meant to pray.

This was all wrong. It felt all wrong. It had to be wrong. Right?

I tried so hard to escape that call. For almost a year I begged God to take it off my heart, my conscience, much like Jesus begged Him to take away the cup of suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:42)… except, unlike Jesus, I wasn’t interested in whether or not it was God’s will. I just didn’t want that darn cup. This task was not for me.

But God didn’t relent. In fact, he stood firm. Instead of relenting, he was relentless.

Soon, the weight of His call on my heart began to suffocate me. It was all-consuming. 

I had kept it to myself so as not to be held accountable in any way and tried to convince myself that I had misunderstood. It seemed almost laughable that God would put a call so big, so ridiculous on my heart. But I knew the truth. I knew what He was asking me to do. Regardless, I was purposefully defiant in spite of it.

The longer I relented, the LOUDER God spoke. And when I couldn’t take it anymore, I told my friend what God had placed on my heart. Andrea asked the most obvious question: “Have you prayed about it?”

It felt like a slap in the face.

“No,” I told her. “I can’t lead a Bible study group. You know my past. You know I’m unequipped. I don’t want to leave our group. We’re all so close. We’d have to start over. It might not even work. How can I work on my spiritual growth if I have to worry about other people?” The excuses flowed without ceasing.

And in that moment, my friend did something wonderful for me. She listened. Really listened. Without interruption. Without judgment. Without reproach. And thank goodness God puts wise people in our paths so we can receive the messages we were meant to hear because that day she told me something I’ll never forget.

“You are unequipped," she said, "but He’ll equip you." She suggested we pray about it, together this time, and see what happened. I agreed, albeit begrudgingly.

That day was the start of something new for me. Of something great. Of my own little miracle. A community had formed. Andrea and I became our own little braided strand; she helped me stand firm in the face of a crippling weight; a call that I was certain was not mine to accept. And the longer we prayed about it, the deeper I dove into truth.

I studied my Bible with a purpose in search of God's direction, for clarity. Honestly, I just needed to find a reason to move forward. For two weeks straight, I saw the word “equip” in or around every verse I studied. Since I couldn’t put the pieces together myself, Andrea made it clear to me.

“God is telling you that He’ll equip you,” she said. And He was. I knew it. I didn’t want it to be true, but I couldn’t walk in disobedience any longer. God had worn me down. My resistance was futile. Finally I said 'yes' to God, then, providentially, Andrea said 'yes', too.

You see, God had been calling her toward the same thing, only she didn’t realize it until I voiced my own call. God had called us to lead together and we didn’t even know it. We were both so scared to step out in faith; it seemed impossible, ludicrous even… until it didn’t.

You split the sea, so I could walk right through it

All my fears were drowned in perfect love

You rescued me, so I could stand and sing

I am a child of God

We are children of God. Nothing is impossible for our Father. He looks into our hearts and sees our fear. He sees our doubt. He sees our anxiety. And He helps us move beyond it all. He splits the seas of our resistance and allows us to walk in faith toward His call.

It's been three years since Andrea and I said 'yes' to God, and in that time, our group has a become a family. We have laughed together, cried together, prayed together, and lived together. These women have become my sisters. They have empowered me to grow in my faith and helped me stay accountable. They don't judge. They love. And it's from the deepest places of their hearts.

I shudder to think of a life without them. A life lived in resistance to God and His perfect path.

Each and every one of them brings something special to the table; they are all uniquely gifted and they share their gifts generously. They help me carry my load, making my walk - my life - easier. They help me endure the pressures surrounding me and enable me to find peace (Exodus 18:22-23). 

I know that God put these women directly in my path. A path I wanted to circumvent. A path I wasn’t interested in walking down. A path I tried so hard to avoid.

But thank goodness God puts wise people in our paths so we can receive the messages we were meant to hear. Thank goodness He put it on Anne Watson's heart to ask me to pray about church leadership that day; the first day in my life it occurred to me that people actually prayed before doing things, before making life-altering decisions.

I had wondered how God could make such a mistake in calling me to leadership. I had wondered if He really knew me the way the Bible said he did.

Me, an unchurched hypocrite the majority of my life. A sinner to worst degree, only a few years out from a life filled with a number of worldly indulgences and wrong paths. A girl who hadn’t even partially read the Bible, who couldn’t quote Scripture to save her life. Me, someone who didn’t really even know what it meant to pray.

It felt all wrong. But it was all so right.

And even though I tried so hard to escape His call, He split the sea, so I could walk right through it. All my fears were drowned in perfect love. He rescued me, so I could stand and sing, I am a child of God.

I am a child of God.

And so are you, friend.

Is there something seemingly impossible that God is calling you to right now? Has he given you a vision for your future, a step to take, a path to walk, or a call to answer?

Big or small, heed His call.

Don’t pray to delay. Step out in faith and answer Him.

You will be blessed beyond measure for it. In keeping God’s decrees there is great reward (Psalm 19:11), so take what is rightfully yours, what the Lord has set before you.

Enter your Promised Land. All it takes is a single step of obedience. Followed by another. Then another. One foot in front of the other with your eyes focused on Him, the Lord your God.

Walk with Him. Don’t let the miracles He has been working for you be for naught. Drown your fears and be rescued, child. My life is proof it can be done.

Father God, I pray that you would strike the match that would bring one more person – one more life – to you in faith. I pray for a burning sensation so deep in their souls that they would know without a doubt that it is You who is lighting the fire. I pray you would enable them to walk in faith toward the calling you’ve set forth, and that “yes” would be the only answer left. Allow me to be a messenger of faith in their path so that they may receive the message you meant for them to hear. Then, Lord, let them act upon it. Reward their obedience, Lord, and let it all be for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.