Wanderer Come Home

Two years ago, I began to classify my life into nice, neat little boxes. Four of them, to be exact. Each of these boxes carry inside them a part of my life that I've compartmentalized, not necessarily in a negative way, but just to mark my faith journey as I've experienced it.

Section I: Wandering

I've always found beauty in the term, "wander". To wander means to travel different places, usually without having a particular purpose or direction. It can also mean to follow a path with many turns or even to go away from a path. This is exactly how I would classify the first 21 years of my life. I jumped from path to path to path - always searching for something I could never seem to find. Never feeling good enough or whole enough or worth enough. Never enough.

Section II: Seeking

But then I met the man who would become my husband. Mark was immediately the yin to my yang. We were opposites in many ways, but he complemented me. However, Mark couldn't fill my every void, though he tried. Bless him, he did try. Despite my humanly shortcomings, Mark gave me the best gift anyone ever could - unconditional love. You see, early on in our relationship I dropped some pretty big truth bombs on him. Bombs I needed to unload, truths we both felt needed to be said and heard and understood, but truths he probably wasn't really ready for. 

Still, he stayed. I wouldn't have blamed him if he packed it in and called it a day, but he didn't do that. His roommates told him our relationship was moving too fast, that we weren't right for each other, that he should break up with me. They were religious, you see, and even took to shunning Mark so he would turn from his sin - a.k.a. me - and repent. Mark didn't do that. Instead, he showed me the love of Christ; a love that was without judgment and without condemnation.

Seeing Mark's example of love and hearing about his faith instilled within me a desire to get to know Jesus relationally, as well.

Section III: Finding

We married shortly after I turned 22 and moved to Dallas. There, we learned the art of compromise as newlyweds and tried to find a church to plug into, but none really seemed to fit. When we learned we were pregnant with our first child, a son, finding a church home became more pressing. We knew how we wanted to raise our children - we didn't want them to wander aimlessly down some of the same paths we both did, if we could have them avoid it, so raising them up knowing the love of Christ was, to us, one of the most important gifts we could give.

Enter Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco, Texas and we were home. It was through this wonderfully blessed place that we learned to love and live. It took a long time for me to break out of my "routine Christianity"; you know, the attending-church-on-Sunday, plugging-into-a-Bible-study-on-Tuesday, but still-not-living-out-the-gospel-all-the-other-days kind of faith. 

Section IV: Following

To me, it felt like one way to know you're doing something right is to feel like you want to do it better; that seemed to be the first step to growing in my faith. With the help of a God-given church community around me, I began to truly follow Christ. Now, this doesn't mean I'm perfect because I can assure you I am not. Most days, I'm a beautiful mess, but I'm still in His light and I'm still working on being better - for myself and for the Kingdom I am called to serve. I am enough.

I can tell you this, I am a hot-and-cold Christian more than I'd like to be. I struggle with consistency, but in this struggle I know that Christ is beside me. I never have to wander or seek... I have already found and now God has called me to follow. 

In John 12:26, Jesus said, "Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am." 

I have been called to be where Christ is. So have you, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. And if you have, don't backslide. 

You don't need to wander anymore. You've found the path.

"Stay on the path that the lord your God has commanded you to follow." (Deuteronomy 5:33)

You don't need to seek anymore. You've already found the Answer.

"For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." (Luke 11:10)

You don't need to worry about finding Christ. Christ has found you.

"For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!" (Ephesians 5:8)

Now you need to follow. We need to follow. C.S. Lewis said there can be no following without a previous forsaking. To follow Christ is to renounce all lesser loyalties. Loyalties to ourselves, loyalties to others, loyalties to things or ideas or places. To follow means to be loyal, to go or come after or behind. Let us follow Christ and, in turn, help others follow Him, as well.

"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people." (Matthew 4:19)

Looking back, it's easy for me to neatly categorize my life into these four sections and looking forward, I know I now have a deep faith that I believe will allow me to remain in this last "box".

However, to remain does not mean to stagnate.

I will constantly strive toward maturity, trying to live and love more deeply, to represent my Lord better, to be more humble, and the list could really go on and on. However, all I really need do is follow. That was the call of Christ on the lives of the disciples, on my life, and on yours.

Let's heed the call and move forward on this journey. Together. With one another and with Christ.

What can you do TODAY that will move you one step closer to Christ?